The sky was pitch black. A white, bright crescent laid in the middle of the blanket of stars. The strong wind whistled through the people's ears. The whole area was
pacific and serene. Hair was being all over the place. Sounds of ships could be heard from afar. The paved streets were filled with people from all ages and races.
Mirth radiated off everyone who was there. Along side the streets, food vendors were setting up their stalls, preparing to feed all the rumbling stomachs in sight. They were ready to
importune all passing people to but from their stalls. As the small, red hot dog stand opened next to me, the smell of delicious, hot, fresh hot dogs entered my nose. My mouth started to salivate at the though of sinking my teeth into the piece of meat and bread. Before I knew it, an Asian family gathered around the stand, and my vision was ruined.
In front of me, a couple was leaning against the metal railing, staring into each other's eyes, as if they were in their own world and nothing else existed. The harbor was a conducive place for a couple like that. You could guess that they were in love just by looking at them. The man was at least 6'1, with jet black hair and sea green eyes. His cheeks were freckled. His navy blue shirt clung to him due to the wind, and his black skinny jeans were practically invisible in the night. In his arms, was a lady who had beautifully curled brown hair that cascaded down to her mid-back. Her eyes were a piercing blue and her skin was as fair as snow. Her lips were full and blood red. She was utterly beautiful. Her blue sundress flowed with the wind and her brown flats were planted firmly on the ground, to prevent her from falling. However, the mesmerizing scene was ruined as two kids raced by and bumped into the couple, breaking them from their reverie.
As I looked down the street by the sea, I noticed a group of teenagers goofing around, climbing on the railings and skateboarding down the steep slopes. What really scared me was a little girl, no older than seven, climbing on top on the railings to get a better view of the sea. A woman was sat on the bench next to her, engrossed in a novel. The woman had dark blonde hair and olive skin, just like the little girl on the railing. She was sipping to what I assumed was coffee and she was totally unobservant of the kid. The little girl climbed higher and higher, acting absolutely
precariously, and I was getting more and more scared. I ran over and just as I was about to pull the girl down, she fell over the metal railings into the strong currents of the sea below.
Wow, Saranya! Your post is great! Your writing is so vivid and descriptive. I can see the a very clear picture just by reading this. The words you used are also just the right choice. The post is also interesting because you added your opinions and feelings to it, things that happened in the scene.
ReplyDeleteSirapob Mongkolpiyathana period 8
Thank you! :)
DeleteI LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK GURLL :) you should become a writer and kill Rick Riordan with your books teehee :) good job though :)
ReplyDeletethanks!
DeleteSaranya !
ReplyDeleteI love it. It was awesome, absolutely amazing. I really liked the way you describe the situation you were in at that particular night and the atmosphere you were surrounded by, it was really clear and easy to understand. I could feel how it was like to be in that situation. I was also amazed by the way you explained and described about the couple, staring at each other's eye and is lost in their own world. Besides, I also like the way you added your opinions and feelings in to it, as Jarb said earlier. It was just awesome. And yea, the ending was fantastic !
Catheriya P1
DeleteThank you! Glad you liked it! :)
DeleteSaranya,
ReplyDeleteI will just add to the list of compliments. Just kidding, but on a serious note, that was spectacular! I love the way your sentences flow and give feelings and a subtle flair to your story. It's clear and easily understandable. The story has surprise and mystery in it, both genres I love. Just be careful of the typos and you are ready to rock!
Nandita Period: 8
P.S. Asians with green eyes and brown hair? hmmmm, interesting :P
Thanks, hahaha :D What Asian with green eyes and brown hair? The couple was not Asian! :P
DeleteThis is no doubt one of the best article thingies I've read so far. When I read the title, the first song that came to mind was "Last Friday Night (TGIF)" by Katy Perry :P However, after reading my way through, it was the Harry Potter theme song. The descriptions were terrific, and it wasn't shallow like a lot of writing is. Great job c:
ReplyDelete-Julianne P1
Thank you so much! Haha, I like the Harry Potter reference! hehe :3
DeleteIt's great! I really like how you express the characters and how you describe the scenes. I felt like I'm in the scene, feeling the air and seeing what you have wrote. The ending made me excited and also wanted to know more about what will happen next. So if you have time please continue. 555 It was very nice!
ReplyDeleteI'll see what I can do to continue it :P MAybe if I;m not too lazy :D And thanks! :)
DeleteI really am hoping for the next "episode" of your writing! This is amazing, and inspirational indeed. I love how I can really feel the scene of your writing, how you described and captured all the situation especially the romance part, and yes, I was touched. It's like another and a way better version of Titanic but with the kids splitting the lovely couple, not the ice xD you should make a novel! I love it, keep it up! :)
ReplyDelete-Regina Hutagalung, p8
Tune in next week,8 PM for the next episode of 'That Night'. Hehe, thank you so much! And, Titanic?! HUGE compliment!
DeleteOmggggg!!! This is awesome! I mean seriously you can be a writer. Go write novels now hahahha. It's so descriptive and interesting. The words are not too hard to understand and I could really feel the atmosphere there like I was there with you. Keep it up! I'm looking forward to your next writing. ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!! Glad you liked it! :) Next writing will be up soon, maybe a continuation of this one.. :D
DeleteHey gurl!!!!! You did great bro! Man that writing is totally awesome!!!!!! One exception though, read this sentence and try to find out why I chose it. Hehe!
ReplyDelete"A woman was sat on the bench next to her..."
Okay.....moving on.....all in all, you did an amazing job. So much description that I can really picture the whole scene out. It's just epically awesome. Good job!
Please also comment on mine. Thanks!
Glanelle P.1
Thanks!! I commented on yours already! :)
DeleteYo dude..absolutely amazing writing, love the way you write and the words you used just got me in the moment, I really enjoyed reading the essay. I was just living the moment you were. Keep up the good job, (Y)
ReplyDeleteThanks gurpreeeeet :) I'll try to keep it up! :D <3
ReplyDelete